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Sugar by ~polyhymnia:iconpolyhymnia:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Old Poetry Structure > Abstract




You took sugar in your tea.
It suited you -
sweetening a bitterness,
which was what you did best.
Cover up the taste.
Always the same;
three spoons of sweet falsity.
One spoonful of sugar
for each fight.

You took sugar in your tea.
Just as you brought me
roses
when you hated me,
jewellery,
when you loathed me,
chocolates
when you despised me.

When I hated you
I gave you –
nothing.

Now you have
nothing

but three spoons of sugar
every morning.
In your tea.
©2003-2010 ~polyhymnia
:iconpolyhymnia:

Author's Comments

Do my eyes deceive me? No - it's another poem!

Comments


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:iconcasesensitive:
~casesensitive Aug 22, 2003, 5:55:57 AM
Mmm a very interesting piece of writing. Gotta be one of your best. Just had sugar in my coffee :D

Infact, its well worthy of a +fav
:iconuberdaishi:
~uberdaishi Aug 22, 2003, 6:54:02 AM
Brill! This is another one of those ones that makes matt worry about you ;) My fav bit is the last 5 lines.... it just sits so well to sum up an ending. Shplendid work mish moneh penneh!
:icondoctortom:
~doctortom Aug 23, 2003, 3:43:33 AM
Very good. Your poems recently seem to contain a fabled message, which is a nice change. Nice work.
:iconchronoflmzon:
~chronoflmzon Aug 23, 2003, 12:03:09 PM
i really like how you related the relationship and everything about it to a task that everyone can imagine doing and tasting :-D good job....
:iconservechilled55:
~servechilled55 Aug 23, 2003, 10:31:47 PM
ya spelled jewelry wrong, i think thats how u spell it but oh well. i liked it a lot, it was kinda urban, short, sweet, and honest.
:iconelainemarley:
~elainemarley Aug 25, 2003, 9:38:12 AM
I love it! I like the metaphores. It's a great poem, really good one...
:iconcitizenerazed:
~citizenerazed Aug 25, 2003, 11:03:37 AM
It looks like one of Craig's poems...*shudders*...

Good stuff ;)
:iconcorruptedangel:
~corruptedangel Aug 28, 2003, 10:29:02 AM
This is interesting.... its a nice metaphor for a personality.... and don't i jus looooooooove sugar!!! hehe. The ending is nice if not a bit sad.......... its intersting the ultmate hate formed when recieving these false feelings from someone.... i liked this.
:iconorangetot:
~orangetot Aug 30, 2003, 7:27:12 AM
I love this. Very powerful, jammed full of a wonderful bitterness. I think i adopt this attitude when i write, which might be why i can relate to it. I like the structure, nice clipped lines to give the emotion extra kick. you've done _really_ well here, this is amazing in every way.

--
FIGHTY FIGHTY :aww:
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August 22, 2003
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